Struggles

There has come a point in this struggle with God that I have realized I am not stronger and I am not wiser. There has come point of brokenness and sorrow. I have come to the realization tonight that God has us where He wants us, because He only wants what is good for us. 
But I am still arguing...I am throwing "but I want to live somewhere full of adventure, but I am so bored with here, but I want to go to a college in a different state, but I want chances to develop new hobbies and further existing ones. And the one that the evil one has pinned on me I can't seem to shake, "BUT when I went to college I said I would move out of state. BUT I married you knowing you didn't want to move out of state. BUT now I want you to make that sacrifice for me--no matter the cost for you." (I am ugly selfish at my core) 
Yet I know, this is not the time. A new (exciting) job offer is on the table, and I want it for him. I want him to find passion in his work, in what he creates. I want him to find success in what he puts his time into. I want him to find reward and progression; he has put ten years into a company that has drained his mind and motivation. He deserves this and I will support him. 

I struggle feeling like I will stuck in this menial, draining job I'm in now, forever. I struggle feeling like I've achieved the highest success in my life possible (hit a plateau in other words). I struggle to connect in relationships, constantly comparing myself to another person's standards. I struggle feeling lost because I cannot call my grandmother and though I pray often, I forget to go to God with whats really on my heart and when my pent up emotions are triggered they get the best of me. So it's been a struggle lately to get out of bed, to look another person in the face, to care about what is going on in people's lives or even my own life, and it is painstaking clear to me tonight I am the one who needs to learn more humbleness, patience, understanding, and acceptance.