Brokenness

I haven't posted much about my feelings. But today it is important to me that I take the time to address what I am feeling. I have started to withdraw from family and friends because I feel the need to protect myself. Because I don't want people to see me broken and hurting. I don't want people to see the parts of me that I don't like about myself. I don't want to see the parts of me that I don't like about myself. This song has been in mind lately, and keeps pushing on my heart. ....and I'm still wrestling around with the words and praying intensely. 'So, take my heart and form it Take my mind and transform it Take my will and conform it To yours, to yours, oh Lord Read more: Sonicflood - Holiness Lyrics | MetroLyrics Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for Brokenness is what I need Brokenness, brokenness is what You want from me What you want from me It's what I want' I'm having a lot of inner battles. I'm still struggling to deal with Gram's passing, though I am constantly being shown blessings and given God urges to provide for others. I'm still selfish. I'm still obsessively focused on little details that shouldn't matter. I'm still accepting His forgiveness, I'm still struggling to look forward while moving forward. How do I do look forward and move forward together, when all I feel like is a failure and unsuccessful and unworthy. I guess there are still life experiences left for me to learn and grow from in this lifetime.